On the bright side, there are awesome resources like today's guest poster, here to remind me that, while it's good for my characters to seem real, I also have to remember that I'm the one in charge, and that it's my responsibility as an author to torment and rev up the tension as much as possible. What a great reality check!
This post will deviate from the typical "author interview/guest post," but I hope all of you readers (and aspiring authors) will appreciate what Jeannie has to say. And while you're here, make sure to enter the giveaway and go show her some love--she just relaunched The Character Therapist and is looking for more people willing to present her with characters to dissect :)
Allure of Alpha Males
By Jeannie Campbell, LMFT
Females seem to dig alpha males, thus, many romances we read feature the swashbuckling muscular hero on the cover—usually shirtless, sporting washboard abs, and possessing a chiseled jaw.
With a description like that, it’s not too hard to see what the attraction of these men might be.
I’ve always wanted to know why though.
So I used my training and powers of observation to discover a few facts.
1) Alpha maleness doesn’t hinge on looks. Don’t get me wrong. I like a good-looking guy as much as the next girl. But don’t tell me that a guy with a slightly crooked nose or a rugged scar hasn’t mesmerized you. Doesn’t it just add to the masculine power they possess?
2) Alpha maleness doesn’t hinge on aggression. Studies have been done on this phenomenon I’m about to share. But alpha males seem to differ from other men in that they have a lack of excitability. They have solid inner strength, the kind that’s not shaken easily and doesn’t require violence or force to protect. They generally don’t raise their voice and maintain a calm demeanor, even when under stress.
3) Alpha maleness doesn’t hinge on confidence. I add this qualifier because I know lots of men who have copious amounts of confidence and self-esteem—but instead of drawing me in, they push me away and come off as arrogant. An alpha male, while usually confident, seems to possess more of a natural dominance in their power to command…a “quiet confidence,” if you will.
4) Alpha maleness doesn’t hinge on charm. There are men who command attention without saying a word. When a man has got the art of body language down to a masterpiece, wit and humor aren’t necessary. Flirty behaviors sometime serve as a mask that a beta male uses to prevent the risk of being direct. A sizzling, smoldering stare might be all the come hither a woman needs instead of blathering compliments, however sincere.
So, now that I’ve discussed what doesn’t equate with alpha maleness, I’m sure you’re wondering what does. And that’s where you come in.
I’m afraid I don’t have a psychological reason to give you. There are theories, granted, such as the evolutionary biology theory that women want alpha males to mate with so that their offspring inherit characteristics that will ensure survival…blah, blah, blah.
What I find far more interesting is individual experience. What traits do alpha males who you know exhibit? It could be some of what I mentioned above—remember, I said alphas don’t have to have good looks, charm, and confidence, but they certainly can.
Giveaway:
Leave a comment with your own assessment of what makes a man an alpha to be entered to win my Writer’s Guide to Personality Types. Don’t forget to include your email address so we can alert you if you’re the winner.
I hope that I’ll get a chance to connect with many of you over at my new website, The Character Therapist [http://charactertherapist.com] and my blog (http://charactertherapist.blogspot.com) If you sign up for my newsletter, you’ll receive my Writer’s Guide to Character Motivation for free!
Thanks for stopping by, Jeannie! I hope that all you readers--whether you're writers or not--will go check out The Character Therapist. There's a lot of interesting information that can always help you better understand the book characters you adore (or hate).
I think an alpha male is both a leader and protector, the strong sort of brute that tries to protect you even from yourself when he thinks your decisions put you in danger.
ReplyDeletejennlovesed14 at gmail
I think a good leader, one that is loyal to family and friends, willing to put someone else's needs above his own, and intelligent makes a good aplha male.
ReplyDeletetwoofakind12@yahoo.com
what a wonderful guest post! I agree with all her points about and alpha, which I *love ;)
ReplyDeleteI will have to go with Debbie on the intelligence part, but he doesn't feel the need to explain his actions sometimes. People should just accept.
I think an alpha male is a guy who can protect, he can reason and he can love. He may have problems expressing his feelings but he has strong ones.
ReplyDeletei think these are all excellent attributes to what we traditionally consider alphas. thanks for chiming in, everyone!
ReplyDeletethanks for hosting me today, tori! i'm excited to be here!
I think an alpha male is very strong, a leader and protector who will do anything to protect you even protect you from yourself and your decisions. I think an alpha male can be stubborn and controlling also. Please enter me in contest. Tore923@aol.com
ReplyDeleteAn alpha male is very sure. Not in an arrogant, over-aggressive sort of way, but in a matter-of-fact way. When he is right he remains calm and presents his case. He does not argue, but simply states the facts as they are. When the aloha-male is sure of something, which he only is when he is absolute, then it must be a fact.
ReplyDeletemegabgirl at yahoo dot com
I think an alpha male is one who can make a decision/plan for whatever situation they are in and lead others through that decision or plan. I would think this would also make them detail oriented people.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post, Jeannie. I look forward to more character analysis to come!
Drat! Forgot my email.
ReplyDeletekristengjohnson (at) gmail (.) com
thanks
again - more insight into our personal versions of alphas. i love this topic...great conversation!
ReplyDeleteand thanks kristin! i'm hoping i'll have many more to do in the future. :)
I have often said in real life that if you have to fight to be the alpha male, you aren't it! I see men and women pushing to be top dog, usually by undermining someone else!
ReplyDeletemell 61 (at) hotmail (dot) com
my friend bonnie had some difficulty posting a comment, so here is hers:
ReplyDeleteMy Alpha males, both in my real life and in my fiction, are kind, gentle and caring. Most of them even cry on occasion. But, they are also men with strong convictions. And, they are patient men who wait for the heroine to make up her mind. No rough, tough, stuff for them. That's the way I like my men, and that's the way the men in my life are ~ hubby, sons, son-in-law and grandsons.
Bonnie Engstrom
I think that an alpha male just has an presence. He doesn't have to be super agressive or obnoxious but people just know he is in command of the situation. He is strong of character and doesn't play mind games or pretend to be something he isn't just to conform. He doesn't have to lie or manipulate to get what he wants. He says what he wants and people feel compelled to get it for him. But I think that there is an unspoken agreement that he has your back and you are safe around him.
ReplyDeletemusicalfrog at comcast.net