Book Dragon's review: True Porn Clerk Stories

Paperback - 160 pages
Price: $10.00
ISBN 10: 1448685249
ISBN 13: 978-1448685240
Released: August 27, 2009


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Obtained: Purchased
Genre: Non-fiction / Memoir
Series: N/A

Queue up these hilarious real-life stories from the video clerking trenches. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll wash your hands. No rewinding required!

My Rating:





My Opinion:
Contrary to the nature of my title as the Book Dragon, I’m going to do my first review on a book I enjoyed.

That said, this book is pure genius.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not interested in being a porn clerk. However, living vicariously through Ali by reading her self-published diary is at times insightful, painful, and disgusting. Her observations about the human psyche are both humorous and—occasionally—horrifyingly accurate.

This book is exactly what the cover says it is. It is the diary of a girl who, for some time, worked as the cashier/clerk in a video rental store that also happened to carry a (un)healthy selection of porn. I dare you to find a more poignant opener than this:

Ten months.

It has been a test of patience, humility, and character.

It has been a lesson in dealing with all humankind, including their personal bodily fluids.

It has been $6.50 an hour.

If that doesn’t sell you on reading this puppy, I don’t know what will.

Of course, I need to do an actual review, so I will soldier on to give you more reasons why you should read this delightful literary treasure.

1) It is broken down into brief, concise sections with headings like, “Customers I Have Driven Out of the Store,” “Fetishists,” and “Porn and the Differently Abled.”

2) You will find tidbits of useful information and hints on how to handle such awkward situations as finding a jerker in the porn section of your friendly, neighborhood video store, why it’s important to keep notes on credit risks, and what to do when someone underage thinks they can get away with renting hentai “because it’s just a cartoon”.

3) If you ever wondered what it was like to work as a porn clerk, this is it.

4) If you ever needed any reason never to work as a porn clerk, this is it.

Just so there are no misunderstandings here, this is a darned uncomfortable book to read. Do not come whining to me later that I didn’t warn you that it’s graphic. There is no holding back, folks. For heaven's sake, this is the diary of a porn clerk. There is talk about human bodily fluids and intimate acts that may set some eyes to widening and cheeks to blazing while reading this book. It is, in short, not something to leave lying around for the kids to find.

But it is an insightful book, and a funny one. I recommend it to adults who are looking for a titillating story of what it’s like to deal with some of humanity’s darker urges, or need more Aqua references in their literature. ‘Cause, ya know, the world could always use a little more Barbie Girl and advice like “be HAPPY!”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a cave to return to.