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Welcome all! Today Laura stamps, author of numerous erotica and paranormal romance books, is stopping by to shed some light on alpha males. Have you encountered alpha males in real life? Do you agree with Laura's standpoint?
"Laura Stamps is an award-winning erotica and paranormal romance novelist, whose daily blog is wickedly naughty. Her work has been published in over a thousand magazines, literary journals, and anthologies worldwide. The recipient of a Pulitzer Prize nomination and seven Pushcart Award nominations, she is the author of more than forty-five books.
A Wiccan Faery Witch, Empath, and Psychic, Laura enjoys writing novels about contemporary Pagans living in the Deep South. Because she portrays Pagans realistically, her novels are full of real spells, chants, and rituals. You’ll also find romance and HOT sex in her books. Why? Because she’s totally oversexed and loves it!
Currently, Laura is a newlywed and lives in Columbia, South Carolina, with her yummy husband Wes (oh, how she adores his long blonde hair! *lusty grin*) in an antebellum-style house. Beyond her backyard lies a state forest, which just happens to be full of faeries."
Bio obtained from Laura's website.
Alpha Men? Don't Get Me Started!
by Laura StampsI have no idea if every guest post in this blog event is gonna be glorifying Alpha heroes in novels. If so, just consider this your anti-Alpha post (lol). Seriously, I told Tori when she invited me that I despise Alpha men these days. No way I can write anything flattering about them. But she said that was cool, so here I am. ;)
Okay, if you've read any of my novels you know NONE of my yummy hunky heroes are Alphas. Why? Because there are too many freakin' arrogant clueless Alpha men in my real life, that's why.
Or there used to be.
If you read my blog or know me from Twitter, Facebook, or Goodreads, you know there are lots of things about Alpha men that piss me off these days. But the thing that irritates me the most is that they’re such arrogant bastards.
Let me back up for a minute. I learned at a very early age the only person who can make me happy is ME. To do this I had to become “proactive” rather than “reactive.”
“Proactive” means I do my own thing regardless of the insanity happening around me, regardless of what anyone thinks. My happiness comes from within, and I know it cannot be shaken unless I allow it.
“Reactive” means your happiness is dependent upon external things, on what’s happening around you. It’s a “victim” mentality. Being a victim is NOT my thing. Been there, done that as a defenseless kid from an abusive family. Ain’t going back!
When you're proactive, you’re moving forward. It’s an “offensive” position. When you’re reactive, you’re retreating. It’s a “defensive” position, meaning you allow yourself to be backed into a corner where you’re constantly having to defend yourself. Or prove yourself. Over and over and over again.
What a snooze!
Arrogant Alpha men have a talent for putting women in a defensive position simply because they always think they’re right, which means everyone else is wrong. If you disagree with an Alpha man you’re ALWAYS having to defend your opinion. Of course, after a while you realize it doesn’t matter because the Alpha thinks he’s right, and he ain’t budging.
Being proactive is empowering because you keep your power. Being reactive makes you powerless, because you’ve given your power away to the petty tyrants in your life.
Hey, forget THAT!
Bottom line: I’m a Beta, and if my life is full of fighting and arguing then I’m not having fun. If I’m not having fun, then my life isn’t working. Time to make some changes and get the fun back, ya know?
Unfortunately, Beta women attract Alpha men like bees to honey. It's like a disease. That means my entire life I've been surrounded by Alpha men. Thus, the reason they do NOT make an appearance in my novels. Why? Because I know these guys too well. Every time a novel with an Alpha hero ends with him suddenly gaining new brain cells and realizing what an ass he's been to the sweet Beta heroine I wanna turn that novel into a wallbanger. Of course she thinks he's now reformed for life, and they'll live happily ever after.
Hardly.
The reality is most Alphas continue with this arrogant ego shit for the rest of their lives. In my case, after 35 years, I'd had enough. I finally got to the point where I was tired of these bastards putting me in the position of having to defend my opinions, the naughty way I talk, the way I write my novels, the way I write my blog posts, my outlook on life, you name it.
Know what I say to that? FUCK IT!
I’m a proactive slut. I don’t have to defend my work or my opinions or my outlook on life to anyone. If they can’t accept me as I am then they can just move along. I’m gonna do what I’m gonna do regardless of whether the Alpha men in my life “approve” or not.
So I cleaned house. Yes, I did. I dumped the Alpha movie producer and my Alpha agent. Couldn't dump my Alpha husband, Wes, so I threw him in the doghouse. Again and again and again.
Then my Alpha girlfriends offered to give me "Bitch Lessons." Alrightyyyy! They kept telling me I'm too nice, too generous, too sweet, my heart is too big, and I take too much shit off these Alpha assholes. And this time I agreed.
Now I'm a "Bitch-in-Training."
All I can say is: Damn, this bitch stuff is hard! But my Alpha girlfriends are being patient with me. Much to their delight I have learned a few skills. I get pissed off at the drop of a hat now. And I've got the claws-out thing down pretty good, too.
In fact, I'm scaring the shit outta Wes these days. Consequently, the man is nicer to me than he's been in the 32 years I've been fucking him.
Who knew?
I've also been retraining myself NOT to get an instant panty-melt when an Alpha man crosses my path. Damn, that's hard, too. But I'm making progress. Now when one comes near me (it's that bees-to-honey thing again) I say, "Down, Tiger!" to my pussy and walk away.
I do.
Yeah, I'm rather proud of myself these days. This sweet slutty Beta has not only pulled off a miracle fixing the freakin' mess my ex-agent (Alpha asshole) made of my career, but I've also kicked out every Alpha man in my biz and professional life.
Well, except Wes. But he's still bending over backwards to be nice to me. And the minute he fucks up I scream bloody murder and go claws out.
Turns out these are really handy skills. Who knew? lmao!
Laura Stamps
The Magickal SexWitch Author of Paranormal Erotica Novels
(HOT Vampires, Shapeshifters, Witches)
laurastamps@mindspring.com
To see all my novel series:
http://www.avampskiss.
(All Kindle & pdf ebooks are $1.99)
My verrrrry naughty blog:
http://www.LauraStamps.com
My “Laura Stamps” Fan Page at Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/
Follow me on Twitter at:
http://twitter.com/sexwitch
Want to win a copy of Sex Magick? Laura's offering one lucky winner an ebook!
Noelle Wylie is a Rune Witch, and at thirty-five she’s got it all. This year she bought her dream home. Then she let Wynn, her darkly handsome, shapeshifter boyfriend move in. One evening Wynn gives Noelle a book on “sex magick.” Intrigued, she decides to give it a try. However, just as she experiences some of the best sex of her life she discovers Wynn has a hidden agenda. Uh-oh!
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About the Author
Thanks for the giveaway :)
ReplyDeleteGood to see someone who is willing to voice their own opinion and certainly doesn't seem to worry about possible reactions.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that sometimes alpha (or Alpha, I don't know the difference in using big A versus little a) can be over-confident and a turn-off. I remember during Flitchat on twitter, fantasy lit chat, there was a day where the topic involved Alpha characters. It's not a subject I know much about but I watched the chat. Many people talked about the different between a too arrogant, "asshole" type of alpha versus someone who doesn't have the negeative version of the alpha traits. It was somewhat interesting.
I tend to not be interested in an Alpha, depending the traits they posses.
You TELL EM, Laura!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the giveaway!!
Lol...well I never looked at it that way before but I still stand by the Alpha's.
ReplyDeleteThanks, everyone! I'm glad you're enjoying my Alpha-men rant. lmao!
ReplyDeleteLaura Stamps
Paranormal Erotica Novelist
& Bestselling Kindle Author
(HOT vampires, shapeshifters, witches)
http://www.avampskiss.blogspot.com
(All my Kindle ebooks are $1.99)
Twitter: http://twitter.com/sexwitch
I still love the Alphas too!
ReplyDeleteThere has to be some kind of balance. :) Personally, I see alphas as more dominant and in control than arrogant. And an alpha male in one situation isn't necessary an alpha male in another situation.
ReplyDeleteFor example, I consider my ex-husband an alpha male in most of his relationships. However I could count one one hand the number of times he'd tried to assert his dominance over me.
Personally, I find alpha males very attractive, not that I've dated many. I love a self-assured guy. To me, arrogance and an inability to admit to wrong doing is a sign of weakness. It shows vulnerability, and like a wild animal, I have a hard time not attacking it. Roar!
I love this post!! I don't like alphas either. We are definitely in the minority!! You've convinced me to keep an eye out for your books if I know I won't meet up with any alphas!!
ReplyDeletethank you for the contest!