In the battle of vampires versus werewolves, "who has the potential to be awesomest?" Would it be vamps, with their pasty skin, or weres, with their ability to shift into a giant wolf? I think it's clear which side I've chosen, but if you're still on the fence, then this post will hopefully help you decide why Team Werewolf Bootlegger is better.
Why you should NOT vote for Team Vampire Lumberjack
- NO SEXY TANS! Who wants a pasty, sickly looking Vampire Lumberjack who will blend in with the snow?
- He'd be chopping down trees during the dead of night, so if you live near his workspace, you can be sure you're not getting your beauty sleep for the night. Or week. Or month.
- He has fangs. They're pointy. He bites you with those chompers and you're gonna bleed.
- ....Which will probably make him want to suck your blood.
- ....Which means when it's your "time of the month" he's probably going to want to devour you. In the bad way.
- Vampires have that weird tendency to not breathe or blink sometimes.
- He's a friggin' walking corpse. You wanna sleep with or kiss a dead body? That's your prerogative.
Why you should vote for Team Werewolf Bootlegger
- Werewolves are warm. Winter is the perfect excuse to get dirty with your were. He'll warm you up pronto!
- He's going to be tan because he can actually be out in the sun. Hot bod, nice tan. You two can go to the beach together!
- Free alcohol, 'nuff said.
- They're possessive, but in a good way. Don't you want a man to love, to crave, and to desire only to be with you? Wouldn't it be nice not to have to worry about being dinner or a quick snack? With a werewolf for a mate, you can count on not being dessert. Well... you know what I mean.
- He'll be passionate. You know your arguments will be fiery, but that just means the makeup sex after will be worth the fight.
- Because werewolves mate for life, you'll never have to worry about him cheating on you--he wouldn't dream of it.
- They can shapeshift into a wolf. That's like... the coolest thing ever. You can play fetch with your lover. Win!
- You have the perfect protector. If someone wants to talk trash, you can count on your were to defend your honor. Nobody's gonna talk smack about his mate without getting a fist in the face!
- Werewolves are naturally social creatures, so you'll never have to worry about being alone ever again.
- You also never have to worry about whether or not your lover will cuddle with you after sex. You know he will.
- And speaking of sex, you KNOW werewolves are going to be kinky bed partners. Sure there will be biting, but there won't be blood sucking involved with those love bites.
- He'll be an excellent provider. You can be sure that you won't have many money problems considering he's been alive for an extremely long time, allowing you plenty of time to focus on your own life goals/dreams.
- He'll want to pamper you.
- He'll eventually want kids with you. And how cute would it be to have werewolf babies?
- He'll know how to seduce you properly.
- He'll be super supportive of whatever you do.
So there you have it! Those are my reasons why Weres are way more awesome than Vamps. What do you all think about this? Which side are YOU on?
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